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[Oct. 2nd, 2010|05:28 pm] |
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i must be a horribly confusing person to be friends with. i know i rant and sound like i'm on the verge of stepping off a ledge most of the time when i post, but truthfully, i only feel like that maybe 15% of the time. the rest of my life is going swimmingly. i don't write as much about those things because when i am happy, i just go with it and let it happen and make the most of it; when i am upset, i have to stop and let it flow out from me otherwise it will simmer under the surface and get worse.
i am still not pleased about how the breakup happened but i feel so much lighter now, and like i can just be as frivolous as i want, but really focus on the things that are important. my priorities right now are school, taking care of myself, staying alive, learning as much as i can, and really coming into who i am as a person. and well, having fun. life is too fucking short not to have fun. i could drop dead any second and i need to make the absolute most of, and do exactly what it is that feels right, at every moment.
I went to a party last night with a huge group of my girlfriends and had a time of my life. I feel so surrounded by love here and it is completely surreal. I have never been surrounded by so many fascinating and loving and beautiful people before, ever. I thought I would come here and still be completely miserable and alone, but I've had the exact opposite effect; people like me, they really like me! Hahaha. I am open now in a way that I never have been before, and most everyone else is the same way, so we all gravitate toward each other. It is such a comforting feeling.
Because I am bored and waiting for my food to be done; here is a meme. This is what I like to do instead of my Drawing homework. woo.
STEP ONE:
Spell your name out in songs.
A -"Alejandro" Lady GaGa
L- "Love Is A Deserter" The Kills
E- "Effervescing Elephant" Syd Barrett
X- "X Offender" Blondie
I -"Ice Cream Truck" Cazwell
S-"Seventeen Years of Hell" The Partisans
STEP TWO:
– Name: ALEXISROSEJ*******
– Birth date: 8 JUNE 1992
– Nickname: lexi, alex, baaaaaaaaaabe!, lex, xela (according to one dude)
– Eye Color: brown
– Hair Color: black with red-violet on the bottom
– Zodiac Sign: gemini
STEP THREE:
– The shoes you wore today: adidas slip ons to go outside and smoke
– Your weakness(es): soft and/or messy hair, a good smirk, confidence, emotive eyes, sexy leather shoes, robert smith's voice
– Your fear(s): never finding love and never being able to be proud of my accomplishments. dying unexpectedly.
– Your perfect pizza: just cheese, pepperoni, mushrooms and a cheese crust. simple, none of that hawaiian bullshit.
– Goal you’d like to achieve: live off my art. find some sense of stability and be able to regulate my own emotions.
STEP FOUR:
– Your best physical feature?: this is going to sound really conceited, but i can't pick one. for the most part, i really like the way i look.
– Your bedtime?: should be 1130 or so. usually ends up being 1230-1am.
– Most missed memory?: i don't like to reminisce, live in the HERE and NOW
STEP FIVE:
This Or That...
– Pepsi or Coke?: neither, dr. pepper. but if need be, coke.
– McDonald’s or Burger King: BK for food, McD's for shakes, but i usually won't eat either of them. SONIC bitches
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither, tazo tea
– Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla!
– Cappuccino or coffee: both both both mmmm
STEP SIX:
Do You...
– Curse: constantly
– Sing: occasionally, and poorly.
– Dance: lolno
– Take a shower everyday: no, too lazy, and it's not like it makes much of a difference if you skip a day or so.
– Have a crush: umm yeah...why do i always start having the hots for my friends
– Do you think you’ve been in love?: i would say yes but i'm still young and naive so i don't know.
– Want to go to college: uh i'm in college. and yes.
– Like(d) high school: fuck to the no.
– Want to get married: i want to be in love and committed. a marriage isn't the issue, it's the relationship.
– Get motion sickness: usually no, unless intoxicated
– Think you’re attractive: most of the time, sure. some days i feel like a gargoyle.
– Think you’re a health freak: lol no
– Get along with your parents: my parents are dead
STEP SEVEN:
In the past month...
– Gone to the mall: yes
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: ugh no
– Eaten Sushi: yes. mediocre sushi, but sushi nonetheless
– Been on stage: noooooo
– Gone skating: no
– Made homemade cookies: no. i've made premixed muffins, does that count?
– Gone skinny dipping: no
– Stolen anything: yes, never from people, always from stores because i'm usually broke or just seeking adrenaline
STEP EIGHT:
Ever...
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: probably but it kindof becomes a haze after a point
– If so, was it mixed company: DUNNO BEEETCH
- Flashed anyone: uh, no comment
– Been beaten up: not seriously
– Shoplifted: see above
STEP NINE:
– Age you hope to be married: if it happens, i'd want to be AT LEAST 25, and that seem wayyy too young to me considering if that occurred, i'd have to meet this future-spouse sometime soon as i'm not one to rush into anything like that
– Number of Children: i think two would be good. maybe three.
– Describe your Dream Wedding: i don't give a shit about weddings
STEP TEN:
In a boyfriend/girlfriend...
– Best eye color?: i love green eyes, ughh melting thinking of certain ones. i like brown too.
– Best hair color?: usually dark i guess, but it doesn't really matter
– Short hair or long hair?: depends on the person, completely
– Height: as long as they're within a couple of inches of me either way, i'm comfortable
STEP ELEVEN:
– Number of people I could trust with my life: um, i would say 5.
– Number of CDs that I own: i don't keep count. too many.
– Number of tattoos: one, hopefully two soon.
– Number of piercings: two in each ear, and my navel, so 5.
PERSONAL QUIZ:
Who were you with yesterday?: as in hung out/talked with? anthony, sean, krystal, samm, becky, taylor, ange, melanie, jon, olivia, erica, marianne, levi, and assorted people at parties
What woke you up this morning?: i had slept enough, i guess
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?: i have no idea. it'll be a sunday, those are never that great
Do you like anybody?: mhmm.
THE PAST:
Ever thrown up in public?: hahahaha
What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW?: colors and patterns and sex
THE FUTURE:
What kind of home would you like?: an apartment filled with colors and knickknacks and with a studio
What do you want to be when you grow up?: famous, creative
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?: NOOOO YAWK, i hope anyway
IN GENERAL:
Do you like candy necklaces?: mhm. of course i just like candy
When was the last time you fell over or ran into something?: ugh yesterday. i slipped and fell in the hallway, landed on my hip (where i now have a bruise) and scraped my arm on the way down. WTF.
Do you still go trick or treating?: no
What was the last thing you ate?: candy-sushi
What's your favorite type of soda?: DR PEPPER IS MY LOVER
Have you ever moved?: three times including moving into my dorm
Have you ever won an award?: scholastics
Are you listening to music right now?: no, but i have "superstar" by celebutante stuck in my head
How long til your birthday?: eight months
When were you the saddest in your whole life?: after my mom died, or maybe within this past year
What time is it?: 5:15 pm
Do you use ebay to buy or sell?: i have before
Who makes you mad: people just being people, but mostly, i make myself mad.
Ever heard a song written about you: no. i'm the one who writes songs about people, i never seem to be the muse.
Something you want to happen in 2010?: this one's a secret :)
Honestly, do you miss 2008?: fuck no, i was miserable in 08.
HONESTY SECTION:
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear?: black with white pinstripes and red trim
2. Honestly, what's on your mind?: a boy
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now?: this stupid thing
4. Honestly, have you done something bad today?: no, just eaten badly
5. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?: krystal my little kitten
6. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?: no
7. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?: being alive
8. Honestly, do you bite your nails?: yes at times
9. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder?: borderline
10. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment?: kinda
11. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now?: not really
12. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?: i have friends i don't like anymore, sure
13. Honestly, what was the last text message you received?: "Ho." from my friend Ange.
14. Honestly, are you in denial?: not as far as i know.
15. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night?: occasionally.
16. Honestly, do you like anyone?: this has been asked like four times, and i already said yes.
17. Honestly, does anyone like you?: uh i know of several people who really want to sleep with me, but i don't think that's what this question is looking for
RAGE SECTION:
1. What do you do when you’re mad?: draw, and maybe call my sister and talk
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?: carved the shape of an ankh into my leg with an exacto. it would be sad if it wasn't so funny lol
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: i don't think so
4. Do you swear when you’re mad?: mhm
CRYING SECTION:
1. When was the last time you actually cried?: thursday night, all night
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep?: mhm
3. Do certain songs make you cry?: yes. ugh i fucking started weeping to "just like heaven" the other day, what is wrong with me
4. What usually makes you cry?: me
HAPPY SECTION:
1. Are you usually a happy person?: no, but i have a somewhat bubbly personality
2. What makes you the happiest?: feeling loved. that is one of the only things that makes me genuinely, really happy.
3. What song makes you always happy?: i have no idea
4. Do you believe in yourself?: yes, i suppose
5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy?: i'm flattered, i'm not like SOOO EXCITED though. that's not the most important thing to me.
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